The World Health Organization and United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) recently reported on a harrowing reality: around 120 million girls and women under the age of 20 have endured forced sexual contact worldwide. Yet, this alarming statistic may be vastly underestimated, as research often fails to adequately capture the prevalence of sexual abuse in rural and hard-to-reach communities globally. Tragically, more often than expected, sexual exploitation or abuse occurs at the hands of a close member of the child, family, or community.
When the perpetrator is a loved one or a trusted individual, it becomes challenging for a child to comprehend the meaning of an unwanted touch. However, many interventions are often reactive, supporting children after they have experienced sexual abuse. Taking a preventative stance by educating children at a young age on the differences between appropriate and inappropriate and self-protection is more necessary than ever.
Image Source: Mott Poll Report (link)
This became strikingly clear when our Rukmini Didis were made aware that our bahinis had difficulties differentiating good touch from bad touch, nor of self-defense on their regular home visits in Bhadarkharka, Hile, and Chhaimale (areas that are hard to travel to). Unfortunately, discussions about inappropriate touch versus appropriate touch are not often spoken with children and may be viewed as taboo by parents and educators in many parts of the world, including Nepal. Some families may view children as too young to educate them about these topics, despite experts advocating that it protects children and empowers them to speak up when touched inappropriately.
Galvanized by the lack of awareness demonstrated by families during home visits, the Rukmini Foundation conducted educational sessions for over 166 students called Good Touch. Bad Touch and led a beginner self-defense program at a partner school on June 11, 2024. Both programs covered various topics such as adolescent health, sexual assault and violence, body shaming, and bullying, targeting both young girls and boys in the community.
The objectives of the programs were to:
- instill confidence and bravery in girls, empowering them to stand against violence and stand up for themselves;
- encourage children to say no to bad touch and guide teenagers to understand and embrace the emotional and physical changes in their bodies;
- and create a safer and more self-assured generation of children that are well-informed and response oriented.
Good Touch, Bad Touch
This educational program was led by staff member, Dipa Kuikel, with assistance from Roshana Dahal for students in grades 4-6. The presentation combined statistics and descriptions about appropriate touch, as well as a short movie, and a dummy demonstration to reinforce the concept of Good Touch, Bad Touch.
Good Touch was described as a positive, caring, and respectful physical interaction that made children feel comfortable and loved. Examples included:
- hugs from family members;
- hand-holding with a trusted adult;
- and pats on the back.
Bad Touch was described as inappropriate, unwanted, or harmful physical contact that made children feel uncomfortable or afraid. Examples included:
- touching private parts without a valid reason;
- hitting or pushing;
- and any touch without consent.
Teachers, families, and peers were also included in the program to recognize any behavioral, emotional, or physical changes in a child as a result of bad touch. The following examples included:
- sudden withdrawal from activities;
- unexplained bruises or injuries;
- difficulty walking or sitting;
- nightmares or trouble sleeping;
- unusual interest or avoidance of sexual topics;
- and unexplained fear or anxiety around certain people or places.
Out attendees felt empowered by the knowledge they had gained and motivated to share these lessons with others in their community, as demonstrated by the two anecdotes below:
Chanchali Rumba (participating student): “I didn’t know about good and bad touch before. When someone from my neighborhood touched my back, I thought it was a sign of affection because he was older. Now I know I can say no and tell him not to touch me. Our teacher never taught us about these things.”
Bipin Tamang (participating student): “I didn’t know that boys can also experience inappropriate touching. I used to think that only the lower part of my body was off-limits for others to touch, but now I understand that any part of my body is private. I will say no if anyone touches me in a way that makes me feel uneasy. I will also teach my sister about this.”
Adolescent Health
This educational campaign was led by staff members, Roshani Rumba, Sabina Bisunke, Sirjana Waiba, and volunteers, Rabina (community learning center staff), Manju (graduate scholar), and Saskriti for students in grades 7-8.
Sirjana Waiba introduced the developmental physical, emotional, and social changes prominent during adolescence which have significant and transformative effects on youth.
The various physical developments during adolescence discussed included the following:
- enlargement of breasts and hips in girls;
- growth in height;
- growth of pubic hair;
- hoarse voice in boys and pitched voice in girls;
- and menarche of menstruation in girls and nightfall in boys.
The various behavior developments during adolescence discussed included the following:
- peer relationship navigation;
- self-consciousness regarding one’s appearance;
- changes in likes and dislikes;
- and volatile emotions while transitioning to independence.
The various emotional developments during adolescence discussed included the following:
- understanding and questioning gender roles;
- concerns about future aspirations and responsibilities;
- identity development;
- and loneliness and anxiety.
Bullying
This educational session, also led by Sirjana Waiba, addressed different types of bullying and its impact on adolescent health. Bullying was defined as:
- making threats, spreading rumors, engaging in physical and/or verbal aggression, and intentionally excluding a peer.
The workshop also reviewed cyberbullying, one of the most common forms of bullying among adolescents in the past few decades. Cyberbullying was defined as:
- using electric technology to harass, threaten, or intimidate others. It commonly involves perpetrators demanding money or other forms of ransom using fake accounts.
The session aimed to raise awareness and educate the students on identifying, preventing, and responding to bullying. Additionally, the session aimed to review bullying’s harmful effects which can lead to emotional distress, anxiety, and depression, effects that are overlooked in communities where mental health is stigmatized.
In an effort to make the workshop relatable to students, our staff compiled stories of young children becoming victims of cyber deception and coerced into sharing personal information with individuals using fake identities. Many students resonated with these stories and shared the feeling of anger, frustration, anxiousness, and humiliation. Yet, they also described feeling prepared to confront cyberbullying using these vital tips for how to navigate social media use:
- educate yourself;
- protect your password;
- never open unidentified messages;
- log out of online accounts;
- pause before you post;
- and raise awareness among your peers and families.
Our workshop also embedded the importance of recognizing trusted individuals in communities and speaking up when encountered bullying. Specifically, attendees were asked to participate in relationship mapping, which requires that students visualize their support system and stay vigilant to protect themselves when needed. Relationship mapping has been an increasingly popular tool for visualizing the relationships and systems that influence health and support. Many students created a map that included members of their family, neighbors, friends, and their friend’s neighbor as a part of the activity. This reinforced the strong social connections they had outside of the online world.
Prabesh (a participating student) shared “I now understand that we shouldn’t accept random friend requests in social media and have learned to be safe and also learned about changes in teenagers.”
Self-Defense Program
The last session was led by Manju, Roshani, and Rabina who conducted a beginner-friendly self-defense lesson to help girls learn basic techniques and boost confidence in protecting themselves.
This session became the highlight of the program and reinforced the importance of teaching self-defense to young girls in communities where child abuse is rarely confronted.
Some of the basic techniques taught included:
- trust your instincts;
- practice target denial;
- present yourself with confidence;
- set strong verbal boundaries;
- maintain a non-confrontational stance;
- keep a safe distance;
- use the element of surprise;
- and be aware of your surroundings.
Purnima Waiba (participating student) shared: “The self-defense technique built confidence in girls. I love the tricks that we can use in public buses and I will teach these self-defense techniques to others.’’
This program had an immense impact on both presenters as well as students. Our young bahinis develop a newfound sense of excitement, joy, and confidence from learning how to defend themselves and maintain crucial boundaries. The program led to many benefits such as:
Empowerment through Safety: Self-defense training gave our bahinis the power to protect themselves and face threats head-on with confidence.
Building Unshakable Confidence: Learning self-defense bolstered their self-esteem, instilling a sense of strength, capability, and readiness to tackle any challenge.
Sharpening Awareness and Prevention: Our bahinis gained vital skills in situational awareness and conflict de-escalation, helping them navigate the world with a proactive mindset.
Championing Physical Fitness: Self-defense training enhanced their fitness, strength, and coordination, promoting a healthy and active lifestyle.
Cultivating Mental Toughness: The discipline and resilience developed through self-defense built mental fortitude, helping girls handle life’s pressures with grace and determination.
Note: if you or someone you know is experiencing any form of child abuse, please call the rescue hotline number 1098 and report any problems.
Conclusion
This program highlighted the Rukmini Foundation’s unwavering commitment to delivering impactful initiatives for children, teachers, mentors, and families. Raising awareness and providing education about sexual assault, violence, and abuse is more crucial than ever. The Foundation remains steadfast in its mission to create a safe, secure, and nurturing environment for young children, empowering them to thrive and achieve their fullest potential. Through continuous efforts, we will inspire hope, resilience, and positive change in the communities we serve. The sense of empowerment was best summarized by Isha Waiba (participating student), “today is a very fruitful day for me, I learn so many new things which are really important for us, especially for girls. In our school no one teaches us about self-defense and the tricks that we can use to be safe. Now I will do these tricks if I find myself in these situations and help girls to learn self-defense and good touch and bad touch.”
